Muhasabah
Tabahkan-lah hatinya Yaa 4JJI…
today…
(bundaku lagi nyuci di samping rumah ma jagain wartel, aku duduk di sebuah bangku di samping tempat bunda nyuci, biz joging pagi muter2 kampung n gerak badan..)
“De’ aya tuh kuliahnya dah lulus belum sih,Bu? Sejak hp nya ilang kecopetan itu, Nanda dah lama ga dengar khabarnya e…”
“Belum, ya masih kost di tempatnya dulu..”
“Truz keadaannya sekarang gimana?”
“Ya kata Paklikmu sih, tiap hari sekarang masih kudu nyuntik insulin sendiri, tubuhnya udah gak bisa produksi lagi.., kasihan ya..”
“Ya 4JJI.. kasihan ya,Bu. Tapi Nanda salut banget ma semangatnya.., Besok deh Nanda tak maen ktempet kostnya. Belum pindah khan? Ga tau nih koq tiba2 Nanda kepikiran ma ade..”
sorenya…
“Assalammu’alaikum..”
“Wa’alaikum salaam.. ya?”
“Ne muchlis..,posisi lagi dimana?”
“ne di kantor, udah mo balik pulang. Piye pak?”
“Anu.. tulung di’karuhke’ nang Paklik Sul.. de’ aya’ kecelakaan tadi di jalan wates..”
“Innalillahi.., Ya ampun…de’, ya ya.. saya tak kesana..”
Ya 4JJI…, baru aja tadi pagi saya omongin..
life is full of questions
at 19, i’ve learned…
we are constantly asking questions..
for which there are frequently no answers
what do you want to be?
that’s a good question
How can I answer that at 19?
are you happy?
that’s another good question
happiness is an abstract concept
maybe I am happy
but not all the time
The past few months have been especially dificult
I know I made a lot of mistakes,
Nothing out of the ordinary,just as it should be.
All was fine…
…until that day.
that day.
Things change so much…
…but at the same time they stay so much the same.
Maybe because the world is round and has to spin.
I wonder if someday I may regret having…
…passed on the chance
I’ll find that answer in due time, too
In regard to the question of wheather I’m happy…
the answer is yes.
Not because I’ve achieved happines, but…
because I know that it’s not a place
…but rather a road.
Maybe love isn’t enough for relationship to work…
…but it is the main ingredient.
I don’t have all the answers.
But now I know what I want to be.
…
be a better person